What Parents Really Mean When They Say ‘Discipline’
By Rebecca Woodhead, BSc (Sports Science)
At Hold Down Jiu Jitsu & MMA, one of the most common things we hear from parents is: “We want our child to learn discipline.”
It’s a simple statement, but behind it lies a wealth of hopes, worries, and aspirations for their children. As someone who’s spent years working with young athletes – and as a parent myself – I know that “discipline” isn’t just about following rules. It’s about so much more.
Unpacking the Real Meaning
When parents talk about discipline, what they’re often really hoping for are qualities like:
Self-Regulation: The ability for their child to manage their emotions, think before acting, and navigate challenging situations calmly. It’s about building that inner compass that guides them even when we’re not there.
Focus and Concentration: In a world full of distractions, the capacity to truly focus on a task is a superpower. Parents see discipline as a way to help their children develop this crucial skill, which benefits them in everything from schoolwork to hobbies.
Resilience: Life inevitably throws curveballs. Discipline, in this sense, is about building the inner strength to bounce back from setbacks, to learn from mistakes, and to keep going even when things get tough.
Respect and Empathy: Raising children who understand the importance of treating others with kindness and consideration is a fundamental desire for most parents. Discipline plays a role in fostering this awareness of others’ feelings and perspectives.
More Than Just Rules: A Positive Approach
What’s really encouraging is that these aspirations align perfectly with the principles of positive discipline. This isn’t about strict punishment or rigid control. Instead, it’s about guiding children, helping them understand the reasons behind expectations, and fostering their own intrinsic motivation to do the right thing.
From my experience in high-performance sport, I can tell you that true discipline comes from within. It’s about setting your own goals, pushing your own boundaries, and holding yourself accountable. That’s the kind of discipline we aim to cultivate at Hold Down.
The Emotional Heart of the Matter
Often, the desire for discipline is rooted in a parent’s deepest emotions:
A Wish for Safety and Well-being: Parents want their children to be able to make safe choices, to resist negative peer pressure, and to navigate social situations with confidence.
A Hope for Confidence: Seeing their child believe in themselves and approach life’s challenges with self-assurance is a powerful motivator. Discipline helps build that inner belief.
A Vision of Future Success: Parents naturally want their children to thrive, both academically and socially. They often see discipline as a key ingredient in achieving those goals.
A Desire for Preparedness: Ultimately, parents want to equip their children with the life skills they’ll need to navigate adulthood – responsibility, perseverance, and the ability to set and achieve goals.
How Jiu Jitsu Fits In
What’s so powerful about Brazilian Jiu Jitsu is how it naturally fosters these very qualities. The structured environment of the academy, the need for focus during training, the challenge of learning new techniques, and the support of the community all contribute to building self-regulation, resilience, respect, and empathy.
It’s not about instant transformation. It’s about consistent effort, learning from every session, and growing both on and off the mats.
Let’s Talk
What does “discipline” mean to you as a parent? We’d love to hear your thoughts. Share your comments – we’re here to partner with you in your child’s journey.